Late Night Musings

Drove through your town tonight.
Yourtown. Is it a different place to Mytown
Or do we think the same?
You Yourtowners and my Mytowners?
Are they all people?

The Tortoise and the Hare

I am in Transition.
It is Spring,
The world holds it's breath and I
Await a rebirth.
Impatiently.
I am in Transition.
The summer sun warms
Trees and my bones.
One grows, the other fully formed
Fixed in place
For my ever.
I am in Transition.
Autumn leaves drop like the months from my lifespan.
Waiting.
I am in Transition.
Flakes fall from heavy skies
And cling to me like the seconds I catch.
Melting into my skin.
Counting down.
I am in Transition.

A Short Rememberance of Summer, Written in Times Past

I saw a butterfly today.
It flew past my window, delicate, beautiful, graceful.
So close, I thought it might fly in.
I thought of you.

'Waiting', Or 'A Last Ditch Attempt at Contact'

I sit.
In front of my computer screen
With phones surrounding me.
I'd write a letter if I could,
Address it;
Unreachable you.

I've called, again, again
Again.
The texts aside, I've rung both phones
With both phones of mine.

Curse of the modern day.
Technology at our fingertips,
All 'communication made easy'.
Yet I'm here alone,
Uncommunicative.
If I can't reach you.

Slowly But Surely I'm Winning

Something inside me is twisting
Something inside me is bleak.
Something inside me I'm fighting
This twisting; I'm making it weak.

To keep it away from my feelings,
To keep it away from my life
But sometimes it feels like I'm sinking
And drowning and losing the fight.

I can't stop the tears from welling.
I can't stop the thoughts in my head.
And the only thing keeping me going,
Is that I don't want to be dead.

Because there's one thing this twisting cannot touch.
There's one thing that's staying quite pure.
Inside of me somewhere is bright love.
And that will be my final cure.








I love you.

Apologia Pro Lacuna Meo

Sometimes I seem to just say the wrong things.
I open my mouth and words fall out
In all the wrong places.

Sometimes I don't even know why I say it.
I don't think. I misinterpret. I'm just plain stupid.
I never mean it.
I never mean to upset you.
I never mean to make you angry.
I never mean to wreck it all and yet
Over
And Over
And Over
Again
I do.
I'm Sorry.

Beaching

The wash of the sea.
The burning brand.
Everything hurts eyes that have seen too much salt.

A Fairytale Ending

Run away little Girl, run away
the blind man said.
Go where they can't hurt you.
Don't follow your dreams, look
to the ground.
And be thankful you're higher than that.

Hide in the dark little Girl,
it's safer where they can't see you.
Where no one knows
where to seek you out
so they can't see to stab you,
to tear it all away from you.

Don't look back little Girl,
In case they catch you.
Snaring, snatching fingers
to have and hold and hinder.
The trees are vicious here
and the rivers full of dead water.

Hide from the world little Girl,
you don't want the anguish.
It's easier to pretend it doesn't exist.
In your gingerbread cottage,
your own only friend.
Until you become the Witch.

Xxx

The world Changed.
From the first caress,
the brush of mouth on mine and You
And I
To We and you to me
and me and all of me to you
because this is all I can do.
Won, lost, my gift to you

What Sounds Like Nonsense

A kiss, one kiss. You touched my mind.
I fought a battle, won and lost in time.
A hand to to take and hold in mine.
A memory spun in threads so fine.

Child to child to woman to man.
Breathing a light, softer, heart ran.
Take it, you take it, fast as I can.
Roll up the reel, let the film pan.

Onwards and upwards let the dream play.
Here we can hear the words are to stay.
Stars in the sky and the sun's out to play.
Take me outside to the dawning of day.

Film

The image is grainy.
Blurred.
But I don't need to see clearly
To know what it is I'm looking at.

I can see the colour of his skin
Though the camera's bleached it white.

I know the shape of his mouth
Though it's near invisible in this picture.

I know the way he looks at me
Though his eyes are pixellated
Just dark squares here.

I know what a picture cannot see.
I know the feel, the scent, the life of him.

It's imprinted on my heart.

Defender Of Men

When I stumble, it's you who stops me falling.
You catch me before I hit the ground
And hold me
Until I feel safe again.

When it's raining, you bring out the sun.
It beams from your eyes
And from your smile.

When I've sunk to the deepest depths,
It's you who dives too.
To wrap an arm around my waist and hoist me
Until I'm flying.

When I'm on top of the world, you take me to the moon.
You make a good day
A thousand times better.

It's you who tracks my footprints
Waiting for the falters,
To spring forward and coach me on.
I lean on you,
Rely on you,
Look up to you.
Without you i'd have tripped and broken four hundred times or more
This past year.

What You Will

Tongue, teeth,
Skin, nails.
Soft and sharp,
Gentle and vicious.
All safe you are with danger
Not far off.
Enfold me, imprison me.
Stroke me, slap me.
Kiss me, bite me.
We are one.

A Poem Written A While Ago That I'm Not Sure Why I Wrote And Don't Have A Title For But Thought Was Quite Nice

I miss him.
Oh god, I miss him.
And I love him, I know that for sure,
But I can't say "I love you" first
For fear of the reply.
But he's always in my mind

The first time he said it
My pulse skipped a beat
As I replied with all my heart
I love you I love you
I love you
And now
Does he think I don't mean it
Because I want to scream it day and night?
Does it cheapen the feel if you say it too often?
Even though, internally,
It's always,
Always
There.

Swinging

A candle.
That kiss of pink upon your cheek.
Your eyes sparkle
Lips flush soft with laughter.
We're flying, you and I. Higher
Higher.
Sun warms our limbs as we soar, grass sweet around trees blazing.
Together we hold on tight.
Here we are.
And here we'll stay,
Airbourne, weightless,
Happy.

Funny How Inspiration Strikes When I'm Meant To Be Doing Other Things

I wonder
Do you notice how
I break into smiles when I see you,
Even though I can't see you.
The world blurs in my defective eyes
Until a metre away but
You.
I see you
Without my eyes.
And I feel the warmth of that vision
And It expresses as a smile.
If you smile back, it makes it all the more
Worthwhile.

In The Style Of Auden

This is to say that I'm sorry.
I will admit it to all: I was wrong.
I will climb to the highest mountaintop,
And scream the words out loud and long.

I will dive to the deepest of oceans,
To tell it to all of the fish.
I'll whisper it in to the wailing west wind,
And send it wherever you wish.

My sunbeam, my moonlight, my angel,
I'm laying my heart at your feet.
My daydream, my night's dream, my X-----,
Take it, it's for you to keep.




Sleep well, my love. Sweetest of sweet dreams.

An Unamed Short Story From A Long Time Ago

Afterwards, he could never remember how they came to be on the roof. The rain poured, the lightening flashed and they'd run out through the roof door laughing. He'd never seen her laugh like this. She laughed sometimes but it was either false or steeped in sorrow and neither lasted long. This laugh was wild, unbound, exhilerated. It was the lightening, the wind and rain. It was sunshine, cloud and snow. It belonged to the elements. but somewhere at the back was a nervous note. A hysteria - the laugh had nothing to do with mirth.
She'd spun around and around, her dress, her hair, floating around her, soaked but still light and laughed all the while. Suddenly she stopped and fixed her gaze right on him.
"It's okay" she said. "I know where to go now. I'm free. Everything's going to be okay."
She smiled but it was still tinged with sadness. For the first time her eyes were clear. He knew somehow what she would do, knew it was right. She kissed his forehead gently and whispered in his ear:
"I'm going to live forever now"
She was on the edge. Away from him. He stood paralysed. She smiled at him, that sad smile again. And then she was gone. He stayed where he was. He was sure for a moment, just a moment, she'd gone up. She'd flown. She wanted to fly, never to fall. His lips parted, the feel of her was in the storm. Softly, he began to sing, a wordless, lilting melody that flowed everywhere. Her song, her spirit, encaptured in notes. Just her.

He was still singing when the screaming started.

Election Day

The ballot boxes waiting
The doors about to open
The queues awinding outwards
The Journalists all ready
The radios are blaring
The propaganda's flying
The politicians sweating
The voters' pens all scratching
The papers ready for counting
The men, the women, the workers, the unemployed, the old, the young, the interested, the apathetic, the greens, the reds, the yellows, the blues, for UKIP, for Labour, for Tories, for Lib Dems, for Greens, for Respect, for Independants, for Independance, for our Rights, for our Lives, for our Economy, for our Schools, for our Hospitals, for our Future,
The country Votes.

Blake

Tiger, Tiger fill my dreams,

Rip Reality at the seams.



Tiger, Tiger haunt my night,

FIll my days with endless light.



Tiger, Tiger kiss my lips,

Drink my life in tiny sips.



Tiger, Tiger laugh with me,

Move through time alive and free

Tiger, Tiger whisper soft,

Your worldly views I hold aloft.

Tiger, Tiger hold me close,

Be the one I love the most.

On Foot

Sat at the bus stop, head down, watching
Feet.
Shoes of all sizes, colours,
Moving past, unaware.
My eyes on them. But none are right.
None
Carry the face that makes me break into a smile. None
Are the base for the shoulders I can run my hands across. None
Hold up the arms that hold me,
The hands that tangle in my hair and stroke my face. None
None are the feet that lead to the legs
To the body that I press myself against in sleep. None
Give that motion, the lazy, smiling, strolling amble
That brings out the sun.
And it makes me sad.
I want to see those feet that carry what I love.

The Simplest Poem In The World

A tiny little note,
Just so you know it's true,
It needed to be wrote:
I Love You.

Amor Dormit

I want to run my hands across your sleeping form.
Tangle my fingers round your hair,
Stroke the velvet of your face,
And breath the deep rich scent of morning star
Caught by the arrow of your eye, I can only watch
And follow the rise and fall of ribs under taut skin.
Lips parted, soft, at peace,
An angel, perfection, you.
You own me.
Never let me go.

X

In the light
Your skin was luminous.
Your body a canvas for my kisses.
Soft flesh to bite
Burned red then white then
See, at my touch,
the brand reforms.
Your lips, iced, filled me with shivers.
A thousand hands stroked and swept
Tiny feathers tickling my skin as I fell
And rose and dove into emotion of that moment.
And then we were together.

Always There, Oh My Darling

No matter what or where
My darling,
Or who or why or how
My darling,
I could walk to the end of the rainbow
My darling,
And I'd still have followed you there.

Internal Messengers (Hormones?)

You promised me everything
Follow me, follow me, follow ME
I'll give you power
I'll give you strength
I'll give you love and beauty
Follow me.
I followed you
You gave me submission
I fall at your feet
Constrained in your wishes.
You gave me weakness
You punish me when it shows
The decision is no longer mine.
You gave me love,
I'll give you that,
But hate goes hand in hand and
It prevails.
And, while, the hate's for me and you
The love's for you only.
And as for beauty, it seems further every day
I'm never good enough.
Am I?